Seeing as I live in a nation with very few attractive people, I have to turn to the glorious world of celebrities to fulfill that constant, empty, dark void in my heart. I present to you my 2010 20 Hottest Men list (illustrated).
1. Robert Pattinson
He was always attractive to me, pre-Edward Cullen. Sometimes when I look at him I want to hurt myself. He’s awkward and scruffy and attractive without knowing it, which is everything anyone could want in a man. Though it might be nice if he showered more often. If anyone else finds him as attractive as I do, never watch the movie How To Be. Even Robert Pattinson looks like an idiot with a bowl haircut.
STEPHANIE: I first like Robert Pattinson when he first played Cedric Diggory; then I forgot about him like everyone else. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized he is probably the funniest celebrity I have ever watched (on interviews and in movies).
2. David Beckham
I don’t care if he’s old (he’s like 35), he is gorgeous. My dad said that David Beckham sounds like a “girlish baby” in interviews, but then again, what does my dad know? I would be more scared if he also said that David Beckham was hot. D.B. looks good with a shaved head, which is really just a testament to one’s hotness.
STEPHANIE: I agree! Shaved head+ still attractive= very good looking!
3. James Dean
I know he is dead, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be hot. Besides, I should at least be allowed to have one dead person on my list. James Dean is forever the cool badass in a leather motorcycle jacket that I will never meet in real life. There is this Indian kid in my grade who wears a leather jacket when he wants to look badass, but that’s not the same thing.
STEPHANIE: I don’t exactly know who this is, considering how I can’t stand watching old movies
4. James Franco
He is not necessarily the most photogenic individual, but he is simply adorable. Plus, he’s at Yale getting his Ph.D, so you know he must be smart. Watching him smile in the trailer for Eat, Pray, Love almost made me smile myself (though I didn’t because it would have been weird.) The fact that he portrayed James Dean in a biopic didn’t hurt either. Though I’m not sure what he’s doing staring in the new remake of Planet of the Apes.
STEPHANIE: Again, I don’t really have any idea who he is, but I do respect him for his intelligence
5. Alex Pettyfer
Last year, he would have been number one, but (sigh) apparently he is a douche (according to Emma Roberts, his most likely scorned ex-girlfriend). But I read this interview with him and he did sound kind of douche-y. HOWEVER, this is my hottest men list, not my nicest men list, so Alex still is number five after a slight demotion.
STEPHANIE: I love Alex Pettyfer. I’m not sure I like all the tattoos though
6. Aaron Johnson (pre-beard/marriage to 40+ year-old woman/Kickass)
Once upon a time, Aaron Johnson was this beautiful boy in a British teen chick flick (based on one of those Georgia Nicholson books) whose adorable dimple made my heart flutter. Now he is a pervy-looking man with a pre-pubescent beard and expecting his first child with a 43-year old woman. It’s unfortunate. I am preserving his teenage attractiveness with this list. Here’s to appreciating short-lived hotness.
STEPHANIE: I was shocked when I heard he married someone 20+ years older. I don’t really like him that much.
7. Jake Gyllenhaal
Last year, Jake Gyllenhaal wouldn’t have even made my list, but I now realize that pictures can’t tell the full story. I watched the trailer for that movie with him and Anne Hathaway last night, and he is adorable in motion. It’s a James Franco-esque situation, I suppose. Plus, I’m super into the blue eyes + dark hair combination right now.
STEPHANIE: He’s cute like a puppy dog and I have yet to watch Prince of Persia, although I’m sure it will be excellent.
8. Michael Vartan
After watching him as the kind, smart, yet emotionally fragile high school teacher in Never Been Kissed, I decided that he was the type of man I was destined to marry. Watching him read Shakespeare almost made me want to be Drew Barrymore (though not really, because she is kind of weird.) He’s also old, which is why he is only number 8.
STEPHANIE: I didn’t watch Never Been Kissed until this summer, but I liked him the moment I saw him. He does remind me slightly of a teacher at school though….
9. David Villa
Despite being the most talented player on the Spanish football team (in my opinion), David Villa is also the most attractive (also in my opinion). Firstly, he has Spanish genes, which is a check in my book, and also, he looks like a total badass, which is another plus. The only downside is that it would be slightly difficult for us to communicate. This is the right moment to make an inappropriate joke about “not needing to communicate with words”, but that is between David and me.
STEPHANIE: I was so happy when Spain won the World Cup; David Villas made watching football all the more interesting.
10. Yoann Gourcuff
This is the third soccer – excuse me, football – player on this list, cementing my belief that football is the hottest sport ever. Yoann Gourcuff is a member of the French football team, and he first caught my eye while being red-carded at the World Cup. It’s super rare to find a man with green eyes (Jesse McCartney doesn’t count), so the fact that he is also French is like an A++.
STEPHANIE: He is just so perfect, but I never got a chance to watch him play.
11. Chace Crawford
I don’t understand how someone can have a face as perfect as his. There is literally nothing wrong with his face. Perfect teeth, perfect dimples, perfect eyes, perfect eyebrows – it’s like he was carved out of marble by a gay Michelangelo. However, he is only number 11 because of his recent marijuana bust (which I still find funny) and since he seems like kind of a man-whore.
STEPHANIE: I never really saw Chace Crawford’s appeal, but I do think his sister, Cindy Crawford, is pretty
12. Alex Watson
Since he is just the brother of Emma Watson, I don’t know much about him. Thus, I am placing him at number 12 based purely on his looks. The fact that he can hold a Burberry woman’s handbag and still look decent is a testament to his attractiveness. He and Emma are so lucky – they both share the same gorgeous faces.
STEPHANIE: I have to go rewatch all the Harry Potter movies just to spot him in them
13. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
I remember watching him in Third Rock from the Sun when I was little. He played an alien. It’s been hard for me to distance the image of him as a geeky alien with a ponytail from him as a movie star, but after watching Inception (amazing) this summer, I am fully convinced that he adorably charming. I liked the part where he and Ellen Page kissed. *so cute*
STEPHANIE: I have no idea who this is, so I will refrain from commenting
14. Dennis Oh
I used to have a thing for Koreans, but after getting to know some of the Koreans at my school, my opinion has changed slightly (drastically). However, Dennis is half-Korean, half-white, which makes it a whole lot better. Half-halfs are always (almost) gorgeous, especially Korean/Americans. Once again, I am placing him at 14 purely on his looks – there is nothing wrong with that.
STEPHANIE: Half half people are almost always cute/good looking, and Dennis Oh is no exception
15. Ryan Reynolds
It’s hard not to think of him as an obese, unattractive man with chipmunk teeth after watching the credits for Just Friends. However, Ryan seems to be the type of guy who is both funny and attractive at the same time, which earns bonus marks. Scarlett Johansson doesn’t know how lucky she is.
STEPHANIE: If only he was more public with his life! Then I could read more about him in tabloids instead of Heidi and Spencer
16. BJ Novak
So he isn’t conventionally good-looking. But he is definitely the most attractive person on The Office, though I suppose that isn’t saying much. John Krasinski is a very close second. BJ Novak also has that much-coveted blue eyes/brown hair combination, so he wins over John. Also, BJ reminds me of this kid named Tyler who was in my second grade class (not that I find second-graders hot), so that makes him extra cute. Also, he went to Harvard, does stand-up comedy, and is a producer on The Office, so check, check, check.
STEPHANIE: So smart and so funny. The perfect combination, although he looked better when he was younger.
17. Brad Pitt
Sigh. I didn’t realize how many old people I had on this list (there’s like three). Brad Pitt will always be good-looking to me (except when he’s sporting a braided beard for no apparent reason). I think it’s because he is the definition of masculine. Girly-boys are kind of in right now, so Brad Pitt gets an A for being a real boy. Plus, seeing him with all of his [millions of] children is kind of cute. Though I think he would have been better off with Jennifer. It’s not fair that he now has a thousand children and she doesn’t even have one.
STEPHANIE: A heartthrob I never fell for
18. Zac Efron (post-High School Musical)
In 2006, he would have been number one on my list. Now I look back and wonder how on earth I ever thought he was hot with that Justin-Bieber-esque hair. Now, though, he is truly attractive – I am so glad he got that gap in his teeth fixed. Once again, piercing blue eyes + brown hair = A+.
STEPHANIE: I have to admit he is good looking, but I never really liked him that much. It’s sweet how he and Vanessa are still together though.
19. Drew Roy
Nobody but tweens (and me) who watch Hannah Montana and iCarly will know who Drew is. He regularly plays Miley and Carly’s badass boyfriends. It’s kind of gross watching him make out with Miranda Cosgrove, but he himself, is hot, especially when wearing a leather jackets. I have a thing for men in leather jackets (NOT the Indian guy in my grade.)
STEPHANIE: How come I don’t know any of these people?
20. Bradley Cooper
My friend Lez keeps insisting that Bradley Cooper is gay, despite the fact that he is dating a woman (Lez says that she’s his “beard”). Although I keep saying that I don’t believe her, the fact that Bradley is barely on my list shows that I have given in slightly. He was beautiful in that dark suit in that casino scene in The Hangover though. A+.
STEPHANIE: Agree with all of the above. If he was married, he cannot be gay! (I see some faulty logic here, but I am positive he is not)